Thoughtless. Literally.

I am without thought.

I promised myself to write a blog twice a month, but now, I have no thoughts in my brain to write about...well, that's not completely true...

Therefore, I present to you,

KATE'S INCOHERENT THOUGHTS (part tres or four)

- My dog is dumb. Cute, but dumb. Moose likes to do acrobatics while chasing his tail. I'm impressed, but also amazed that he does not realize that what his is chewing on IS HIS TAIL. For at least 30 minutes.

- I have $10 all in one dollar bills. To the untrained eye, it looks like it's $15.

- I wish it was acceptable to wear jeans and a t-shirt to work. I mean, hello, I work at a college. Why do I have to dress nice when all the people I help are wearing that or less?

- Peaches are gross.

- I have three pretty highlighters! And because I know, dear reader, that you want to know, they are blue, pink, and yello!

-Yes, I did leave yellow like that on purpose because that's the way it SHOULD be spelled. It's not yell-OW, it's yell- O. Hence, yello.

-I just punished my dog for peeing on the floor for the THIRD time with in 2 hours. He waits until we're home to pee everywhere. It's like puppy rebellion.

- Oh yes, those puppy eyes won't work, Moose. You just sit there.

- Seriously, stop looking at me. I'm not backing down.

- Juicy Fruit does not taste like fruit. Nor does the yello package fool me. I know it's gum. Not a rectangular lemon.

-Something tells me I need to buy some Vera Bradley. You know, to annoy Brent. Also, to be pretty and functional for a lady's handbag.

- Grape flavor water is nasty.

-Why am I all about fruit tonight? Weird.

-WAIT! I did have an apple at 5:30...maybe that's why?

Ok, well, that's enough ridiculousness for now. I hope you enjoyed it, I did.

Now go eat some fruit.

Staring contests...

Ok, this will be weird...but I accidentally get into staring contests with my dog, my friend's dog, and any baby ever.

Moose stares at Brent, but for some reason, we tend to just look at each other. And stare.

It's weird.

The same happens with babies. My niece just looks at me. My friend's kid looks at me too. And I'm sure its the fact that we're facing each other, but, it's still strange.

These staring contests lead me to think a few things:

- are they staring at me because I have something on my face?

- can they read my thoughts?

- are eyes TRULY the window to the soul?

(I don't really think that last thing, it just seemed to the next likely choice.)

All things considered, I'm pretty sure that other people don't feel this way when dogs or babies look at them.

Oh, and cats too.

Milk breath and puppies are gross.

Especially if it's milk without lactose. Blah.

So, we're getting a puppy. She's super cute, but she's a puppy. Puppies can be gross.

I grew up in a house where animals are outside, people are inside, and fish are in bowls.

And I should go ahead and tell you, ye judgers, before you judge me and say, "well you must not love animals enough if you didn't let them in your house..." or "real animal lovers don't need to subject their animals to the harsh elements..." and "does your family hate animals?" Ok, naysayers, be aware that I grew up surrounded by pastures and woods and lakes. And by saying this, I can tell you that not very many people have the land to have (deep breath):
a horse, a pony, 3 chickens, a rooster, 8 pigeons, 2 pigs, a goat, 3 fish, a rabbit, over 20 cats, and 7 dogs.

Don't tell me that we don't love animals. We freakin' love animals.

Anyway, all this to say, we are keeping Ellie (the puppy, duh) inside...and I'm freaking out a bit.

I'm extremely OCD when it comes to my house. I like everything in its place and I'll admit that it's easier to be lazy when the house stays relatively straightened up. There's no poop the clean off the floor, no icky toys to touch, no constant wiping with some "animal friendly" cleaner when I see the slighted bit of something that I can't identify. I grew up not needing to worry about those things. When I would go to a friend's house, I could smell their dog before I saw it. And that was gross. When I would hang out in their living room, I saw the stains from their dog on the carpet. And that was gross. Puppies are gross.

I don't want a gross house. And that's why I'm worried.

I guess I'll have to trust my husband. And my in-laws have cats and dogs in their house and his mother maintains a perfectly clean house. So I trust my husband due to his mom's OCD-ness. And yes, our OCD-ness brings us closer together as a mother-in-law and daughter-in-law family unit.

But Ellie is the CUTEST puppy. Maybe I can forgive her for ruining my house. Or not. Only time will tell.

But I loved her at first sight.

But I also love my clean house.

But this dog is awesome.

...

Ok, I lied, my fish were not in bowls, but in tanks. And those vase things with the plant growing on top.